I've read this book once before and gave it 5 stars on GoodReads but I no longer remember what it's about. although my rating and previous review suggest I adored this book I recall not being too fond of it.
I'm going to do my summary a little different for this book. It has six chapters I will summarize them individually.
1. Gentlemen Prefer Blonde ( March 16 - April 7 )
Lorelei is a beautiful young blonde woman from Little Rock, Arkansas who is living in New York as some kind of sugar baby. She was originally working as an actress, including being an extra in Intolerance, and had done some modeling. She considers herself very intelligent and the men around her are constantly saying she "has a lot of brains". However her constant misspelling and horrific sentence structure indicate this is said to flatter rather than as an honest remark.
She has a gentleman friend named Mr. Eisman, the wholesale button king of Chicago, who did not approve of an acting career and so she quit. She finds Mr. Eisman boring but is fond of him, mainly because he finances her luxurious lifestyle.
She's hosting a small party for some intellectual men and her girlfriends and meets Gerald Lamson, or Gerry as she calls him, and the two take a liking to each other. They become engaged even tho Gerry is already married and he insists she have nothing to do with Mr. Eisman and asks her to move back to her fathers in Little Rock where he will send her books to keep her company. He's been giving her quite a few books to read and she has her maid Lulu read them for her which she considers just as good.
When Mr. Eisman gets back into town he tells Lorelei she shouldn't settle down to a life of just being Mrs. Lamson. He is soon going to Paris for business and offers her a trip to meet up with him there. She accepts and her and her best friend Dorothy sail out while Gerry is out of town.
2. Fate Keeps on Happening ( April 11 - April 15 )
While on the ship Lorelei see Mr. Bartlett, a district attorney from Arkansas who had argued a court case against her seven years ago. It seems Lorelei had been sent to secretarial school in Little Rock by her father to get her away from the affections of a boy. There she was picked to work for a lawyer who she had an affair with. After finding him with another woman she shot him but was acquitted and after the judge bought her a ticket to Hollywood to go into acting.
She tells all this to Major Falcon, a man Dorothy has befriended on the ship, and he tells her Bartlett is going to Vienna on government business and Falcons current mission is to find out what the business is. He encourages Lorelei to befriend and romance Bartlett to get this information, which she does. Bartlett falls for Lorelei and asks her to leave the ship with him in France and accompany him to Vienna. She claims he's going there to meet a woman and refuses to agree until he tells her the detail of his government mission. The next morning she sends a not saying she's not going with him and, remembering all the mean names he called her in court, decides to tell Falcon the info.
3. London is really nothing (April 17 - April 25)
After arriving in London Major Falcon takes the girls around to meet people, most of whom want to sell them things. A woman named Mrs. Weeks has a diamond tiara to sell for $7,500 and Lorelei is very interested in it. She puts a $100 hold on it and cables Mr. Eisman for $10,000 but he declines and offers to only send her $1,000. Not wanting to lose her hundred dollars she looks for another man to buy it for her, this ends up being Sir Francis Beekman, who Lorelei nicknames "piggie". Piggie is a notorious penny-pincher and married man but Lorelei is determined to get her way. She sends herself a dozen orchids without a card and pretends he sent them, telling him how generous he is and how she's falling for him. Eventually she is able to talk him into buying her the tiara and in exchange she agrees to stay in London permanently to be with him, but the next day she sails for Paris.
4. Paris is Divine (April 27 - May 5)
The girls are having a lovely time in Paris when one morning Lady Beekman shows up and demands the tiara back from Lorelei, who refuses. The next morning a lawyer named Robber shows up and his son, Louie, soon arrives after. They've been hired by Lady Beekman to get the tiara but are so smitten with the girls they'd rather take them out. They devise a plan to take the girls on dates, charge it to Lady Beekman, and attempt to steal the tiara in the process, finding it a win-win regardless of if they acquire the tiara. When Lorelei finds this out she makes a plan to have an imitation tiara made with paste stones and constantly show it off to the men, making them always feel just in reach of it, then use this to encourage the men to take them on shopping trips, charging it all to Beekman of course.
After a night out both Louie and Robber make separate offers to Dorothy to steal the tiara in exchange for 1000/2000 francs respectively. Her and Lorelei devise a plan to sell it to both; Dorothy would get the money from Louie and then Lorelei would enter the room before Dorothy hands over the tiara. Dorothy would then sell it to Robber that night. This goes successful until Lorelei decides she wants to keep the fake tiara. She sneaks it out of Robbers pocket but he makes such a fuss upon realizing it's gone that the girls tell them of their ruse. Together the four decide to purchase another fake tiara and give it to Lady Beekman for an exorbitant price.
5. The Central of Europe (May 16 - June 1)
Mr. Eisman arrives in Paris but soon heads to Vienna on business. Not long after he sends for Lorelei and Dorothy to join him. While traveling on the Orient Express Lorelei meets Henry Spoffard who is some type of New York morals enforcing person. He's famous and comes from a very wealthy family. Lorelei befriends him by saying she is traveling with a girl she is trying to reform. Upon his suggestion the girls stop with him in Munich before heading into Vienna. Once there Lorelei balances her relationships with Spoffard and Eisman by seeing the former during the day and the latter at night. When she finds out Mother Spoffard's companion has been looking into her past, particularly the part about being paid $10,000 by a man's family to not marry him, Lorelei weasels her way into a tea with the woman where she sucks up to her and wins her over. Soon after Spoffard has to return to New York but he proposes to Lorelei who accepts by telegram before actually deciding if she wants to accept and hopes that he'll back out of it so she can sue him for breach of promise.
6. Brains are Really Everything (June 14 - July 10)
The girls soon head back to New York. Once Lorelei hears there's a man on the ship with some uncut diamonds she makes his acquaintance, acquires the diamonds, then fights with him the evening before docking so he'll leave her alone and Spoffard won't see them together. After her homecoming Henry takes her to meet his family in Pennsylvania. She briefly considers trying to marry Henry's father who is 90 and ill because then she could get his money when he soon passes but decides it's too risky. She finds the trip so boring she decides not to marry Henry after all. She enacts a plan to go jewelry shopping and charge it all to Henry then have Dorothy tell him how much Lorelei is always spending and that he'll soon be poor if he marries her. She then plans to sue him for breach of promise.
While Dorothy is talking to Henry, Lorelei is having lunch with Gilbertson Montrose, a struggling script writer, who suggests she should marry Henry and then use his money to finance Montroses latest project, hinting that Lorelei could play the lead. Henry however has already been scared off by Dorothy and has jumped on the train back to Pennsylvania. Lorelei gets on at the last minute, tells him Dorothy was testing to see if he really loves her, that the jewelry she bought was glass and just props for the test, and begins crying over him failing the test.
The diary ends a month later with Lorelei recapping her wedding and her, Montroses, and the Whole Spoffard family's involvement with the movie. She believes she has mad everyone happy with her actions and declares she's now too busy to keep a diary.
- There's quite a funny joke I didn't understand the first time I read this book. Once arriving in London Lorelei sees a familiar "little girl" who turns out to be actress Fannie Ward. Lorelei made friends with Fannie in Hollywood and her mother also went to school with Fannie. They then go and buy hats in the children's department. Fannie Ward was an actress who was known for being incredibly youthful looking throughout her life due, at least in part, to plastic surgery. At the time this book was written Fannie Ward was 53.
- The only redeeming quality Lorelei has is her anti-racist beliefs. Lulu, her maid, is black but she thinks this makes her no worse than her and she also thinks it's rude of people to use the N-word.
- Lorelei is not likable and I have no idea if this is suppose to be the case. She is, quite clearly, awful but I don't know if it's suppose to be endearing or not. I couldn't stand her. I think at the time she would just been considered a...greedy vamp? I don't know what to call it but by today's standards she is committing crimes such as international fraud, blackmail, extortion, and even espionage. I also do not like how she is always badmouthing Dorothy.
Overall I don't like this book. I think it's good in theory but having to read such horrifically bad writing for 217 pages was obnoxious. The spelling is way off for a lot of words so you have to take a second to decipher it, the same sentence will be said multiples times in a row but with the words rearranged, and some of the stupid things Lorelei says are a little too forced. I considered not finishing this book and only pushed through since this will be my last ever reading of it I presume.
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